GO AHEAD AND SCREAM

"Help! Damn it, Beverly! As my younger sister, you're supposed to help me."

     Twenty-four-year-old Kimberly Kent's speech remained confined inside her head-as it always had.

     "It won't be long now, Kim," Beverly Kent said, as she turned the family car down a side street in their hometown.

     Kimberly threw her arms out in front of her, and Beverly reached over and forced them down again. "Whoa, Kimberly. Settle down. You're going to like this doctor. He's really good with people like you. We suspected that you didn't like the others very much, so mom, dad, and I took great pains this time to find a doctor who will look out for your special needs."

      "You're stupid, Beverly. Don't you have the slightest idea of how stupid you really are?"

     "You've been awfully quiet, Kim. You haven't made so much as a sound since I helped you pick out your clothes this morning."

      "That's because there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening. I don't want to see more doctors. They're all morons. They look at me, draw mentally defective conclusions, and tell you nothing while they reach into your purse and take your money. You're a fool, Beverly. You're the one who needs help!"

     Beverly sat back, yanked a cigarette from her purse, and lit it with the car lighter. "I dressed you in your favorite skirt."

      "I hate skirts!"

     Beverly turned toward Kim and blew smoke at her. "I thought it might make you feel more comfortable."

      "The only thing that would make me feel more comfortable is if you get your lazy ass married and get out of my life."

     "I think it's a shame the way mom and dad plop you down in front of the TV set. It's no wonder you're a vegetable."

      "And you're a fruitcake. Besides, where else was I going to get an education? And if you're so concerned, then why don't you ever take me anywhere?"

     "I swear you'll watch anything, Kim. Cooking shows, travel logs, the news … anything our parents put on the tube you just sit and leer at with that damn riveting icy stare of yours, never flinching, never moving the tiniest muscle. I used to watch you stare at the TV when I was a teenager and wonder how you could glare at it for so long. What was going on in that poor undeveloped mind of yours?"

     "You never saw me change to the educational channels when you all weren't around. Oh, yes, my sweet uncaring sister, I can do more than any of you realize." Kimberly felt the rumble of a volcano inside her unmoving body. "I just can't talk!"

     "I remember when I was sixteen and you were twenty. Karl and me used to take you to his father's farm in the country. I bet you don't remember that."

     "It's Karl and I, you idiot, and the only reason you took me was so you wouldn't get stuck in the house babysitting me. And I remember it all right, like it was yesterday. How could I ever forget the sight of you and that sex-crazed boyfriend of yours fornicating in the hay? I really didn't appreciate you doing it in front of me. One thing you never understand about me, my promiscuous little sister, is that I am a human being. Pretty much like you, except not as promiscuous."

     "Those were the good old days. Karl was so devoted to me. I don't know why I ever broke up with him."

     "Devoted? Oh, you mean devotion as in the sense of when mom and dad would go away for the weekend, and he'd leave your bed for mine? I always wondered what it was like when I watched you and Karl do it in the hay. Karl gave me a few firsthand demonstrations. I found it mildly interesting, I must admit. For him it must have been like making love to a corpse."

     "I wish you could tell me something … like how much you really don't like living at home."

     "I like living at home, sis. It's having to be around idiots like you, mom, and dad that I can't stand. I wish I could tell you all how much I hate you!"

     "Scream and coo. Coo and scream. Kim, you have such a limited vocabulary."

      "If you only knew, you twenty-year-old high school dropout, how much better mine is than yours. If only I could talk!"

     Beverly pulled into the parking lot of a small, one-story office building. "Okay, sweetie, we're here. I'll unbuckle you." Beverly stepped out of the car and sauntered around to the passenger's side.

      "I know how a seatbelt works, you blockhead. I understood how to operate one before you did."

     Beverly opened the passenger door and unbuckled Kim's seatbelt as Kim let out a yell in her ear, forcing her to pull back and slap an hand over it.

     "Damn you, Kim! That hurt my ear." Beverly smacked Kim on the arm. "Don't you do that in the doctor's office. I mean it, now."

      "Abuse! Besides fornication, that's the other thing you're good at … abusing me. You, mom, dad, and the rest of the known world. If there is a God in Heaven, then this must be Hell, because I can't imagine a life more torturous than you all have provided for me."

     "Come on. Get out," Beverly snapped, standing by the car door.

      "Who's in control now, you witch?"

     "Come on, Kim."

      "Screw you, slut."

     Beverly reached inside the car and pinched Kimberly on the leg. Kimberly didn't flinch. "Get out and stop fooling around! This is for your own good."

      "Convenience! You don't do anything unless it first satisfies your own convenience. Don't tell me all about it, sister. None of you know what is good for me, and none of you care."

     Beverly reached in and yanked Kimberly's arm. "I'll pull you the hell out of there and let you fall on your face if you don't cooperate. You come out of there now, you stupid …" Beverly pulled up short of finishing her insult.

      "That's right. You better not say it in public. People might think the truth … that you're a mean bitch. And who are you calling stupid, you imbecile. Twelve times twelve is one hundred and forty-four and that's a gross, of which twelve is its square root. You're the one who flunked math in high school … twice! I'm ignorant, sweetie, not stupid. Ignorant by design … yours, mom's, and dad's. Just the way you all preferred it, but I'm still smarter than you are. How many times have I watched you try to figure something out and had the answer way before your puny mind could fathom the shape of its own skull? Probably as many times as there are light-years across our Milky Way Galaxy. And if you're wondering, pea brain, that's a hundred thousand. And the speed of light is one hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second. Almost as fast as you can remove your clothes when the guy you're with wants to make it with you."

     "Okay," Beverly announced drumming her fingers on the car roof. "You're going to get out now!" She reached into the car and shook Kimberly. Then she pushed her forward into the driver's seat. Kimberly lay still as Beverly backed out of the car hyperventilating. Leaning against the car, she ran her hands through her hair. "Damn you! Damn you, Kimberly! God, how I wish I was an only child."

     Kim sat up and climbed out of the car. Beverly wiped a tear from her own eye.

     "Kimberly, why do you make me do these things? Why can't you just follow directions? I know you're capable of it. Sometimes, it seems like you do it just to frustrate me."

      "Bingo!"

     "But I know you can't. You're just a flimsy, brainless, walking zombie."

      "Speak for yourself, dope."

     "Well, at least you got out of the car. I don't care what you do for the doctor. Just be good in the waiting room in front of the other patients."

      "Yeah? What are you going to do about it? You can't abuse me there. Not in front of witnesses. Come on. Let's get this over with. It's all getting very predictable. I wish I were going to the gallows. A hanging by the neck is preferable to seeing your uncaring face."

     Inside the doctor's office, Beverly sat Kimberly down. As soon as she signed her sister in, Kimberly's knees pulled apart. A young man across the room lowered his magazine and treated himself to the free peepshow.

     On returning and seeing Kimberly's situation, Beverly sat next to her and pushed Kimberly's knees together. When she let go, Kimberly's knees came apart again. After one more attempt, Beverly slipped off her sweater and draped it over Kimberly's knees. The young man went back to staring at his magazine, as Kimberly offered cooing noises.

     "Not again," Beverly said under her breath.

     "Coooo! Coooo!" The sound reverberated around the waiting room.

     "Not here, Kim."

     "Coooo! Coooo! Coooo!"

     "Stop it, Kim."

     "Coo? Coo?"

     "Kimberly?"

      "Yes, lame brain?"

     "Kimberly, I swear, sometimes it seems like you know what you're doing."

      "You bet I do, birdbrain."

     "You better knock it off."

     "Cuckoo!"

     "I mean it, Kimberly."